Grief is a Strange Thing

Over the past few weeks I feel as though i'm still pregnant in the fact that I am going through all of the emotions possible. At times I feel like I can not feel any more emotions than I am already feeling. Grief is a strange thing because much of the time I feel alright (of course I am always thinking of Augustine). However, in an instant I feel like I could engage in a fight, cry my eyes out and scream all at once. I know that in time it will hopefully pass. I know that I will always feel sad about our daughter, hopefully I will not have to cry as much as I feel it now. I miss her all of the time, and it's been hard because at work one of my coworkers is pregnant which makes me a bit sad. Also, one of my dearest friend's had a baby just a few days ago so that makes me a bit sad too. Now don't get me wrong, I am extemely happy that they are starting on a new path in life with their new family, but it does make me wish that our little one was still around. At times I feel strong hearing about newborns and toddlers, and I still even want to become a doula and start with me pregnancy massage certification. However, an hour later I can hardly hear about the birth of a baby without becoming extremely sad. This is what I mean about grief being such an incredible thing.
I've been trying to keep myself occupied as much as possible lately which has been good. I'm glad that I am back at work. Doing massage again is a good thing and it also can be a form of meditation at times. In March i'm going to be attending a seminar on Qigong which i'm getting really excited about www.qirevolution.com . This seminar couldn't have come at a better time I feel. It deals a lot with breathing, meditation, energy, and food based healing. All of which are very intruiging to me. Last month led me on a path to find out where I am spiritually in my life, and I feel that this will send me in the right direction. I'm just trying to stay as positive as possible and hope that will lead me to where I want to go.